


ben

by spacereylos (manbunjon)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 21:19:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13509993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manbunjon/pseuds/spacereylos
Summary: There was a certain lilt to it, as though the syllables were being dragged out one by one. As though she tasted the word one letter at a time, letting them smooth across her tongue like something fetchingly sweet. It was sibilant, smooth, sounding sweet to the ears that had long ago become accustomed to a different name.





	ben

_Ben_.

It was as though his skin had caught fire. As though he had been doused from head to toe in boiling water. Goose pimples swept down the column of his spine as sweat prickled his brow. _Ben_.

It was simple, as easy off the tongue as any one-syllable word had ever been. Yet it was different. So different from when his mother had said the word, had called him to clean up the mess of toys he had left behind as a child, different from the way his father had said the word with a disappointed sigh when he had discovered the great difference between he and his son.

There was a certain lilt to it, as though the syllables were being dragged out one by one. As though she tasted the word one letter at a time, letting them smooth across her tongue like something fetchingly sweet. It was sibilant, smooth, sounding sweet to the ears that had long ago become accustomed to a different name.

He could feel her breath against the shell of his ear; warm and wet like the roll of wind after a long summer rain. Her hands were on his shoulders, rooting him to the earth, so close that he could smell her sweet skin, his mind foggy as he tried to identify the scent. _Ben_.

Each time she said the word it felt different and new, as though it was not a name he had heard a thousand times before. Her lips grazed his ear as she spoke, gooseflesh rippling down his spine at the ghostly sensation. He frowned, though not from malcontent, and balled his hands into fists to keep from reaching out to her.

It was a dream, he knew. A trick of the force, cruelly connecting them despite the massive distance between them. For all he knew she was a galaxy away.

And yet he could feel her. The shift of the wind moving passed him as she shifted, the ambrosial smell of her breath dancing against his nose. _Ben_. He refused to look at her. Once he did it would be too hard to look away. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the shape of her dark hair, loose in the low wind. He remembered it braided, a style he had not seen in many years now, round and tied tight so it shifted little in the gathering wind. But he liked it loose. He liked it every way and any way and it made fury boil in his stomach like sickness.

For so long he had tried to ignore her. This woman he had been bound to by a force unknown to either, who filled his senses and left him weak and reeling. He hated her, he hated himself. He hated every moment apart from her.

He hated the randomness of their encounters. He might see her three days in a row then not for a month. Four months might go by without a visit until one day he could hear the word once more, as though she stood just slightly out of reach. Maddeningly, it was pure chance.

He was not sure how long had passed since he had last seen her. Since he had allowed himself to look at her, allowed himself to succumb to her teasing and jests. He was too weak. Despite his training…he was too weak.

He found her leaning lazily against the jamb of the door, her arms crossed over her chest. Her hair had been let free, hanging over her shoulders. He could feel her with every one of his senses, the force aura that surrounded her crinkling in the air like static.

 _Ben_.

He didn’t see her mouth move. He knew the word was for him and him alone, placed into his mind like a delicate secret. _Look at me, Ben_. He did as he was told, weak and foolish and weak.

He lifted his chin and met her gaze, her eyes warm upon his. He stood abruptly and her eyes widened in response, though she did not move, her feet planted wide and strong. He remembered what it had been like to fight at her side, to feel the full force of her power against him.

 _Rey_. He allowed himself the word, just once, though they both knew he already had her attention. He crossed the room and immediately felt her aura pitch. Power coursed through his bones, a sick, smug satisfaction moved through him at the notion that he could disarm her as completely as she often did him.

She held out her hand, pausing. A long beat passed, his fingers twitching to take her palm. He had long ached to once again feel the small bud of calluses on her palm, to sense her blunted nails drag down his palm. The pads of her fingers trailed down his. It was only a matter of time until she disappeared, pulled sharply from the vision by something he did not know. It would be the same as every other time.

She pitched suddenly and fell forward. He caught her, feeling the weight of her body sink into his like a stone. Her foot had caught on the edge of the hull’s metal edge, the fabric of her boot ripping audibly in the quiet night air. At once he started, realizing with a jolt that…

Rey nodded. Her hands had lifted to his face, her thumb tracing absently across the corner of his mouth. He was weak, he knew. But she was too. She sank into his arms, her face buried in the cavity between his shoulder and neck. Her skin was warm and smooth, her nose cold, making gooseflesh ripple across his skin.

“You’re here.” He said. His voice was barely louder than a whisper, the power he hoped to exude extinguished as suddenly as a flame in sharp wind. “You’re…”

“I’m here.” She whispered. Her lips were on his. “Ben…I’m here.” 

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to send prompts to me on tumblr: **[organaben](http://organaben.tumblr.com)**


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